Ringing in the New Year

Personally, I stopped the whole new year new me thing back in high school. I understand that the New Year can be motivation for some people to change habits and that it gives them an exact time frame… but I think being able to change or start a goal at any point of the year, before or after the New Year is something that more and more people should work on. Why wait for the New Year? Instead of constantly putting things off, why not just come up with a goal and work towards it at any point of the year? Just do it.

If you're not happy with the way you look, or with the way you're spending money, with your weight, with where you are in life, why would you waste more time and put it off until the New Year to address those things that you despise about your life? Time is essential, and there obviously is not a lot of it. Everyday, people are working and moving towards their goals. If you decide to put off whatever it is you want, then you're just slowing down your own timeline. You're just allowing for others to get ahead of you and or allowing for others to take the chances you could and should have taken. 

As for friends, it doesn't make sense to wait for the New Year to cut people off… I don't understand the phrase, "I'm not taking these people with me into the New Year, I'm leaving them behind in the last year." Well, instead of dragging those people with you, why don't you just cut them off immediately? There is no point in having deadweight dragging you back, right? Sure, you want a fresh start, and what other way to portray this fresh start than through the New Year… As humans, we tend to pay more attention to bigger events, to certain time frames thats we ignore and take for granted the little things. Everyday can be considered a fresh start, so why do people just look forward to the New Year? It's just extremely time consuming… 

Now, don't get me wrong… I am not judging you if you believe that the New Year is the best time for you to make these changes, then go ahead and take the proper steps in making those changes. Personally, I think people who effect change when they realize what needs to be addressed are the people who get the most done. Now, that may not be true, but based off my experiences with people and based off personal experience, those who push their goals off till the New Year, are the ones who get the least amount done. 

Anyway, with that behind said, I can't wait for the New Year to begin. 2014 was full of great experiences, many heart breaking moments, a lot of personal realization, and was definitely a real self enriching year. A lot has happened, such as getting into my major, deciding to leave an organization I devoted a lot of my young adult life to, looking into internships more relevant to my major, building up the self confidence to make change, and losing good friends. I'll make a post about who I am as a friend and that whole process of losing a friend too, but for tonight, I'm just going to relax, watch movies and hang out with my sister. Yes, that is kind of lame. Honestly, I don't have plans. I did, I was invited to a party, but personally, that is not my scene. 

A lot of the things I have been working on this past year, and will probably be working on into 2015 is being more comfortable in my own body/shoes. This means being confident in my work, my answers, the way I present myself to others, the way I walk and talk… I want to be able to be myself without fully worrying about what others thing or say about me, unless it's constructive criticism. Tonight, when it hits the New Year, the post on "fake friends" will be up. With that, I bid everyone adieu for the next couple hours so I can pamper myself to get ready for a night dedicated to myself. (I think it's really funny how I've spent basically every free day I could, dedicated to myself… and if not myself, than dedicated to friends who are not deadweight). 

xo, Jennifer Lynn

Something new

This blog is clearly a lot more "personal" in the aspects of me ranting about life, my feelings, goals and such… and my tumblr is full of reblogs that push back a lot of my posts… so I decided to start a new blog! I won't really go into the details that much because it'll be a bit redundant due to the fact I basically explained it in the very first post. 

Enjoy,

jenniferlynns-stuff.blogspot.com

xoxo, Jennifer Lynn.

My frustration and eventual realization...

I don’t know if people are genuinely stupid or if they are just so uneducated to the point ignorance is bliss for them, but it’s getting real old, real fast. To start off, it is clear society has MANY issues. There are people who have a false grasp of certain issues, yet they argue their false perceptions. These people are wrong, yet fail to see they are wrong. Issues like systemic racism, inequality, poverty, racial profiling, police brutality, torture and a butt load of other issue are prominent at worth talking about to address and seek solutions. Clearly our society is fucked up. In order to move forward, I believe it is necessary to educate the uneducated. Don’t get me wrong, there are some people who are open-minded and willing to learn and admit they’re wrong… but there are the hard headed, stubborn dumbasses, who even when wrong, refuse to admit it. They believe that living in a bubble and being closed-minded will get them far in life. They refuse to talk about the issue and they refuse to be educated. How does a society successfully move forward if there are people who refuse to see the bigger picture and recognize the problem is bigger than just THEM.

Over the past couple months, the Mike Brown, Eric Garner, and bringing back the Trayvon Martin matter, in addition to bringing light of the brutal police tactics, and the release of the 500-page Guantanamo Bay summary, an EXPLOSION of stupid people were born on Facebook. I will start off by listing these people.

The people who argue that things will never change therefore it is pointless to talk about the issues. I’ve had talks with people who genuinely believe that school shootings, rape, racism, and inhumane acts will inevitably happen therefore there is no use in talking about it nor addressing it. Now that is complete and utter bullshit, and if these people do not change their outlook on life, I truly doubt we will ALL move forward as a society. The first step in addressing a issue is recognizing that there is a problem and actually TALKING ABOUT IT. It’s wrong for a reason… you cannot tell me you are content with life on Earth where repulsive things continually happen. I don’t think it is ever pointless to talk about an issue. These people who believe that society cannot change, are the people who don’t contribute jack shit to the greater good. I’m sure, when these people grow up and have kids, they’ll realize how eminent these issue are and they’ll wish they talked about/recognized the problem earlier.

The people who deny there are issues and believe that people are just pulling the racial card or the feminist card… Yes, there are some people who “pull the racial card” over petty things such as, “you pulled me over b/c I’m this race,” or “you’re calling me out because I’m this race.” I have many views on this issue… 1. If you’re a cop… and you pull someone over and they SAY THAT, they genuinely believe that, and believe the cops are out to get them because they are a certain race. You cannot change that fact, the only thing WE as a society can change, is to make the police force an entity that people of ALL racial/ethnic backgrounds can trust. If not, there will always be a mistrust, and this “race card” will always be pulled. In addition, if minorities are constantly targeted, constantly mistreated, and constantly in trouble with the law, there is no such thing as them pulling a race card because this issue is VERY MUCH prominent. Another thing that kind of peeves me, is when people deny white supremacy and or white privilege. You cannot argue that they do not exist because American is built on the very foundation of white supremacy and white privilege. If you do not believe me, take a fucking American ethics class, or a history class… learn about the history of people OTHER than Europeans and the Americans. In earlier times, this was justified by the “White man’s burden.” Now, if you refuse to, then you are part of the problem. I will make a post sometime in the future PROVING white supremacy and white privilege. Personally, it’s the funniest thing ever when people deny these things exist… THEY SIMPLY JUST DO NOT SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE… why? BECAUSE THEY HAVE THE PRIVILEGE NOT TO SEE IT, they are able to live a comfortable life without seeing the TRUE horrors within the United States.

There are people who believe educating people on certain issues will perpetuate the problem and there are studies done by white people where talking about the issue of racism perpetuates racism. Have you ever thought, maybe this study was done by someone who was tired of having their race scrutinized, therefore tried to misdirect the ACTUAL problem? Instead of addressing the issue in itself, it addresses a different aspect of the problem directing attention away from the actual issue at hand? Yup, you just pulled a fucking Fox News. There is only one argument I have that successfully portrays how ridiculous this claim is… Give me an example of someone who has learned about racism, learned bout the detrimental affects of racism, whether explicit or systemic, and decided to perpetuate the problem. Tell me of a time, where you learned racism was bad and that it exists… therefore pushing you to go out there and be a racist. If anything, not educating people allows the problem to persist... Sometimes even persist without the wrong doer’s knowledge.

The people who fail to see the bigger picture. There are people who fucking pinhole every situation. They see only part of the issue and fail to see the greater picture as a whole. For example, this girl argued that Mike Brown asked to be killed because he decided to commit a crime. She blamed the black community for it because they lack stable families, come poverty and have an unstable income. In addition, she says opportunity is everywhere, that the black community choses to fail because it refuses to find the opportunity. Now, what is it she fails to see? She fails to see that our society continually scrutinizes these people. She fails to see the implicit racism, the educational disparity, and SO MUCH MORE that I will discuss in a different post. Seeing the bigger picture allows for you to see that it is MORE than just the fault of the black community. The fact she even argued that it was the fault of the black community is an ignorant claim. These are the people who cannot see the cause and effects of certain decisions, actions, and or consequences… thus they will always misunderstand the situation at hand.

People who share their own experience and refuse to see the experience of others. Not everyone’s experience is the same! There are many instances where minority groups will argue that racism is not real because they have never encountered it. Well, maybe you were too ignorant to realize that you experienced it, or you were one of the lucky few. Just because you were one of the lucky few that did not experience these negative aspects of life and society, does not mean that EVERYONE ELSE who is of the minority group has had the SAME luck you have in NOT experiencing it. Not everyone’s experience is the same, and you cannot argue that you know certain things, when you fail to recognize the people who are hurt MOST by society marginalizing them.

The people who argue gibberish… when people argue that A therefore B… because C, D. No fucking connection of C to A or B. Those people can suck it. It’s like saying “White people work hard to move forward in life, therefore White privilege does not exist. Because minority groups don’t work as hard, they are lazy.” Ok, maybe that’s not the greatest example, but you know what I mean. When people’s arguments do not support their premise.

Lastly, I don’t know what’s worst, people who are misinformed or the people who are uninformed.
The people who are misinformed are people who have received the wrong information and continually agree and argue that false information. Whether they received it from Fox News… or some satire site, who knows. Then there are the people who are uninformed and know nothing on the issue and try to argue bullshit. These people are hindering everyone’s ability to move forward as a progressive society. These people have either received bullshit information that supports their stance on particular issues and stand by it and or they make up their own bullshit by not being informed. For example, there was this guy who argued that if a child were found to have a bruise, their parents could be arrested and put in prison for life without the chance of a trial… or habeas corpus. Of course, I argued against him and informed this idiot. Next, he tried to argue Guantanamo Bay was justified and that the inhumane acts were justified for people there because they were such a threat to the United States. I swear to fucking god, that is the most idiotic thing I’ve heard in my whole entire life. Did he take a class taught by George Bush explaining why Guantanamo Bay was justified? Or is he just truly ignorant to ALL the facts there are out there?

All these idiotic people make me pessimistic that change and a progressive movement forward CAN occur. But I now realize that it is part of the struggle towards change and towards progression. My ancestors have died fighting for equality, they have faced many injustices, yet they continually fought. All the social activists before me fought and put their lives at risk to get to where we are today. I believe fighting this fight is worth it because it WILL produce positive results eventually. I learned to never be pessimistic on this issue because that will NOT bring us forward. A positive attitude, perseverance, and passion will drive our society forward. I plan on being a part of that fight.

Life after the most hectic quarter ever,

This past quarter was a pretty hectic quarter. I know at community colleges and at semester universities that four classes sometimes is the norm, but some of you ought to know that four courses at a school that runs on the quarter system is a workload. The expected course load students are expected to take on is three courses. With that said, my four courses totaled me up to 14 textbooks; think about how much reading I had to do, how much studying, and how much the workload was that I had to take on in addition to working a part time job. 

To start, the things that really helped me succeed with my quarter making onto the Dean's List was not by lollygagging, but by efficiently utilizing ALL the time I had the whole 24/7 allotted time. Many people waste their time by doing silly things such as partying every week or laying around doing nothing. Now, don't get me wrong, hanging out once in a while and partying once in a while is healthy and a MUCH suggested reward you should work for and ONLY get when you have achieved whatever it is you needed to accomplish that week. 

This year, my 21st birthday landed on a Saturday. Of course it's all fun and games right? Literally, that was my busiest week ever. All four midterms landed within that week, and I prioritized everything so I would have Friday night and Saturday off without worrying about completing any assignments or assigned readings.

If I were to give tips to my future self and or to any college student, I would say a couple of things… 

The weekly view with additional memo space to the right for a more detailed/lengthy to do area.

The monthly view to allow me to see things in retrospect and how much time is actually allotted for everything. 

1. Your planner is your best friend. Now, it does not have to be an expensive planner nor a cheap one… but as long as it suits your needs and helps you best keep track of things, then you will be built for success. Personally, the one's I prefer are black leather ones, with a monthly view in addition to a weekly view, with memo's on the side for additional tasks and little quotes to inspire me to keep on keeping on. Writing goals, reminders, homework assignments and always scribbling down things to do will help for an easier school year. The brain can only retain so much information on top of studying and such… Pen down when you should start studying, when you should start your papers… I color coordinate things too, so the major papers, the major exams and such are always in RED, things with highlighter marks are pressing assignments to be completed and the other assignments need to be completed, yet aren't as pressing. 
2. Social media will always be a distraction. Realizing that before hand and having a ton of self control will allow for you to effectively utilize your time. Many times, I have found myself on Instagram and Twitter scrolling through endless posts only to waste two hours of time that could have been used in completing assignments. Being able to allot certain times to social media (preferably when you're commuting home and or taking a TIMED break from studying) is fine. Breaks are much needed. Sometime it helps to deactivate your Facebook… just a tip. And to let your friends know if they want to reach you, text or phone calls WOULD be the best option since a social media hiatus is called for when the busy time of the school quarter comes around. 
3. Friends come and go. Your true friends will understand that you are busy and not rely on petty shit. In addition, they won't waste your time arguing with you about some ridiculous mistake that was clearly made in the past. Do not spend time moping around about how you lost someone or how they were not who you expected them to be. Just know, if they're still playing that, "oh you're not a good friend because you don't make time for me," card when you know damn well you make time for them compared to a handful of other people, then that friendship between you guys is NOT worth it. Clearly, they're still on that high school shit. You being in your university career, know what you're looking towards and striving for. It's best to surround yourself with people who are driven and motivated because then they will allow for you to be driven and motivated and looking forward. Friends should never drag you back nor should they hinder your success, instead they should be cheering you forward. Of course, if your friend is depressed or contemplating suicide, take some time out of your day to be there, but if they expect you to help them with some stupid ass quiz… it is NOT in your job description as a friend to do so especially when you have a ton of your own stuff to worry about. College is all about burning bridges with people who drag you back and moving forward with people who inspire you to be your best. As college students we are ALL old enough to have civilized conversations without curse words, and bringing up past mistakes, and voicing whatever is bothering us… we are all old enough to USE our words to convey how we feel. As college students, we DO NOT have the time to try to read the other person's minds. So if a "friend" is playing these mind games with you, telling you, "you should know why I'm mad at you and you should know why you're a bad friend because you did this, this and this in the past," and talking shit about you with other people… do not waste your time. I learned this the hard way by giving one too many fucking chances to someone who used me for their benefit and took advantage of the friendship we had. As hard as it may be, cut them off; and FULLY cut them off. Not their half-assed ignoring you bullshit. YOU literally go and BLOCK them on everything. They aren't worth it. What's that phrase? Cut off the cancer otherwise it'll be deadly to you…? Yeah, it applies with people too, cut off the people who hinder your ability to become a better person. 
4. Take care of yourself. There's not much you can do, study, or retain when you're exhausted. Okay, a few all nighters are alright, but if you're pulling them five days in a row… then your body will over work itself, trust me, I know. Power naps are good… in addition to making sure you EAT. I know it takes some serious time out of your day to prepare meals and such, but think of it as a break from studying. Your body needs fuel… it's fuel is food and rest. If you cannot provide that for your body, then your body won't be able to provide you the ability to take your exam to the best of its ability… 
5. Break times are good. Not a break like going to a party for two hours every week kind of break. More of a, "I'll watch one youtube video," "my commute home is a break," "shower time is me time," "dinner time is time to spend with the family," and "this nap time will help me study better," kind of breaks. Being able to TIME your breaks helps a lot with studying. 
6. Never compare yourself to the people around you. Your friends should be motivation to you, not competition. For a while, I've spent my time comparing myself to this guy who was in most of my classes… of course when I did well I was ecstatic, but when I did poorly compared to him, the mood I felt was so negative that it made me question my ability… Questioning yourself in a college environment is NEVER a good thing because it won't help bring you forward, instead it'll negate you backwards. I believe, that everyone needs to believe in themselves and TRULY try their best… the only person people should be focused on being better than, is the person they were before.
7. Truly try your best. If you're going out more than you are studying, if you are starting your papers the night before it is due, if you are studying for exams the day before, and if you are skipping lecture and NOT TRULY trying, and sacrificing time to RETAIN information, then you are NOT trying your best and you have NO EXCUSE. If you question why you got a certain grade, you need to think about WHY you got that grade and NOT make the same mistake over and over again. Many times, I've taken classes with people who literally do NOT do shit, and then have the audacity to question the TA's or the professors on the grades they received. You get what you put forth. You put forth squat, you get squat. That's a simple lesson. 

Now, of course there are more lessons/tips to add, and I'll occasionally come back and add more by editing this post, but for now this is all I have learned over the many quarters I've been at my University. Now, I am treating myself to sleeping in, hanging out with family and friends, and rewarding myself by going shopping and such. Trust me, hard work pays off. If you sacrifice your quarter and devote yourself to your education, wonderful things will happen, and of course, when winter break, spring break or summer break rolls around, the free time will be worth the wait. It truly is a reward to a hard working quarter. 

Much love, xo, Jennifer.