I am not the best girlfriend ever. I don’t try to be because I can’t try to be something I’m not. I’m insecure, I cry, I get mad, I get upset... and hey, I can be really cocky sometimes, I can get real happy and all that good stuff. Our relationship will be just like a roller coaster ride. Ups, Downs, Loops, Upside downs… all that stuff. I can stay committed; but only if you keep me interested because I LOSE INTEREST FAST. But I can tell you one thing, I will be one of the most memorable girl friends ever, because I have been so far… All my ex’s and the people I used to talk to say they ‘miss me’, ‘regret breaking up with me’, ‘can’t stop thinking of me all of a sudden because I was different.’ I will be nothing but myself towards you whether you like it or NOT. I will be brutally honest and I won’t lie. If there’s something you’re doing that is super against my morals…. compromising is something I’m working at because it’s usually MY WAY or the HIGH WAY. (Or you can just take the high way to my place ;D, LOL JK) I am real shy… I’ll probably get butterflies around you all the time… but I am real chill. I can “hang with the guys” only if you want me to. Shit, I can be one of the guys sometimes too. If we are going to be together, you’re going to have to accept some shit from my little sister because she is OVER-PROTECTIVE of me. She looks out for me. Weird right? Get used to it. (;
-Future Girlfriend
My second post,
I have doubts. I do things without thinking and think about my actions afterward. Sometimes… not at all. I might doubt our relationship but your job is to keep me from doubting you, from doubting the relationship. I know it sounds like I expect you to put all the work into this “relationship” but to be honest… I don’t expect that. But I do expect both of us to put work in. I will try my best to not doubt you but no matter what, I will always have doubts. I’m looking for THE ONE. I’m not playing games right now. I don’t want to go out with a lot of guys just to go mess around. I want to find someone I can be with for the rest of my life. So if I start doubting prove to me that you are the one. The one I can be with for the rest of my life. A lot of girls go out with guys… because they think they love someone. I want you to be someone I truly love. The only person I can say “I love you” to and really mean it.
-Future Girlfriend
My newest Dear Boyfriend post,
Dear Future Boyfriend, (post #3),
Now that I am a bit older and wiser and no longer that naive and young16-17 year old girl anymore there are somethings you need to know. Since then, I've been neglected, cheated on, hurt, lead on, played and lied to. Most of it you could say was my fault for jumping in too fast, but I was young and searching for love… you can't blame me. Yes, it all sounds horrible but these things have made me a more cautious person.
I guess you could say I am stronger… but only in taking care of myself and making sure I don't get hurt again. Stronger in the sense that it's easier for me to shut people out than let them in and stronger in the sense that I am an ice queen. I don't wear my heart out on my sleeve anymore- I mean because it totally worked out so well the first dozen times, right? If you get the chance, go to my archives, look in the year 2014, under August at the post, If I could give advice to the 13 year old me on relationships, and you will understand.
If we are dating, you can expect me to question whether our relationship is "real" or not, you can expect me questioning you on who each one of your friends are, and or, why you're hanging out with this person or that person so often. It's not because I'm purposely not putting effort in trusting you… it's just too hard for me to fully "fall in love" or to fully trust someone because in the past it has ALL lead to me at my most vulnerable getting hurt. You can expect me to be a little cold at first… I hope you understand my reluctance to let people in so soon. But don't get it messed up and don't ever accuse me of not trying, because you have no idea how much I will be trying to make it work.
Because I am so "damaged," you can expect me to get really emotional. I'll cry, I'll throw hissy fits, I'll be extremely happy one minute and extremely sad the next. I'll care about you so much to the point you might think it's slightly unhealthy- which is a step up from before because a lot of people accused me of being uncaring. I will do my best to show you I love you. I'm not the type to say it or text it, but my minuscule gestures will be my way of showing you how much I care.
It might be hard to open up to you at first. But you need to understand that trust is a difficult thing for me. It'll be a process working up the ability to tell you what I think or how I feel. However, don't get me wrong. I believe communication in a relationship is key, and strong communication will make a relationship last. Don't be discouraged if I don't tell you everything right away because eventually, you'll become the person I tell everything to and you'll be the person I fully confide in… it's like buying new shoes and trying to wear them in… Eventually I'll be comfortable enough with you to share everything with you.
My past has shaped me into the person I am today. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret any of it. I still have a couple of my ex's as my friends and although there is history there, I've learned my lesson. You do not need to worry about them, even if they try to "go for it" again, it won't happen. You can trust me to be faithful to you and you can trust me when I say I know how to keep my distance from ex's. Although some of these ex's will be in my life as my friends, I will never ever compare you to them or try to change you. I expect the same from you; never compare me to them or try to change me. I am who I am and that cannot change.
There will be days I want to go out and explore the world and there will be days where I want to stay in bed, eating pizza and watching shows/movies. I don't care if you have no idea what we should do nor should you ALWAYS feel obligated to plan a "date night" type thing. As long as I'm with you, everything is fine. I will do whatever I can to plan some date nights as long as you put forth the effort and plan some date nights as well.
I'm a down ass chick. I can hang out with you and your friends if you want, if you don't, I'll give you your space. However, if I'm never introduced to your friends or "the guys" then you can expect a lot of shit from me. I want you to be able to hang out with my friends and or even go on double dates with my friends and their significant other. As long as you're down, I'm down.
I have nothing to hide from you. You want to check my phone? Go ahead. You want to check my Facebook messages? Go a head. Read my journal? I'll hand it on over to you. BUT, if you expect me to be able to do that, you should not be surprised when I ask to look at your phone, your Facebook, or whatever. Look, I'll trust you if you trust me. I can prove I have nothing to hide… you should be able to also.
I am stingy with money but I can also use money like I use tissues… Please, keep me in check and I promise to help you with whatever problem you have. Never feel like you're going through something by yourself. If I'm dating you, I will ALWAYS be here to listen, to give advice, and my shoulders will ALWAYS be here for you to lean on.
-Future Girlfriend.
