Since the weather has been a whole lot better, I feel like I've been a better person, I feel more optimistic. But the down side to spring is, fresh cut grass, blooming flowers that release pollen into the air. Spring, you're beautiful, don't get me wrong. But sometimes, I feel like you're after me and trying to kill me.
This month is around the time when me and my boyfriend of two years and five months broke up, and I'm not really too phased by it nor was I phased by the situation when it happened. If anything I almost forgot about it, until I really reflected on what happened last year and my whole first year in college. It has been a year, almost a year, close to a year… I cannot even imagine still being in a relationship with him. Times change, people grow up, what you want and need in life changes too and that is exactly why there was no future for my ex and I. I'm not going to blame him forever for why our relationship did not work, but I'm not going to take full responsibility either. Many factors went into why we broke up, on my part I did not want to do long distance anymore, I became more focused on college, my education and my goals. I could not see myself with him in the future because I could not see a future for us in general. I poorly handled the situation between us breaking up. But what he cannot see is that I pushed him away because it was what was best for him. The sad thing about love and breaking up is that either you guys get married or not, and if not, it means during the relationship one person falls out of love when the other is continually falling in love. In this case, it was the situation. It's alright though, if he ever sees this, I am truly sorry for the way I acted and you honestly do not have to forgive me. Being single after so long is one of the most liberating feelings ever and I do enjoy it. Being alone and by oneself has such a negative connotation to it, but why?
