I'm making this post before I go to class because I promised it Saturday night after Sakura-con, but I some how ended up at the rave and never got a chance to make this post. Also because I didn't really make something particularly worth reading on Sunday, I mean unless of course you're totally into my life like that. And here is that post I promised.
A lot of the time, I realize that the only person who is holding myself back and the only person who doesn't believe the things I do is myself. I've come to a point where I"m rather indifferent on other people's opinion on me, because that is something I cannot control.
Why should one let another person's opinion dictate what they do for the rest of their lives? Opinions are exactly what they appear to be, opinions. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, especially their own opinion on you. So if that is the case, should everyone let ONE person's lousy opinion of yourself dictate the rest of your life? Should that mere opinion be the thing that makes you feel unworthy? I don't think so. It's rather sad knowing that so much potential in someone can be blocked by another persons words and thoughts. I believe that I have come to that point where I don't care about another person's opinion (unless it is constructive feedback). Here's a bit of advice for those who do though.Think about it this way, those people are irrelevant to your life. Their opinions really should not matter or mean anything to you. If they're your friends, then I think it's time to get new friends because you should never feel embarrassed or feel the need to be someone else just to impress them. The only person you should be impressing, is yourself.
Onto the point of this post. I find that the thing I struggle with is myself. My self criticism, my own negativity, and my own doubts that pull me back. When I want to do something, I often take a leap of faith and do it. But more often than not, when I'm about to lunge towards that leap, I tell myself to stop and to stay put. Because the leap of faith does not guarantee a safe landing to the goal at hand. In a way, I am limiting myself. There's a fine line between not being capable of doing it because it really is impossible and being scared of the outcome, so the best possibility is to just stay completely in the dark instead of facing failure itself.
There have been many times the past year, no scratch that, my whole life... where I have stopped myself from doing something because I did not want to face failure or because I was scared of the outcome. I ended up being my own worse enemy and my own downfall. I limited myself so much to the point where limiting myself is nothing but comfortable. As easy as it is to blog it and type it up, it isn't. I do not want to be my own downfall, I don't want to lie a miserable life full of regret because I stopped myself from doing something. I do not want to miss out on opportunities that could possibly enhance my life due to a fear of failure.
As of today, I refuse to fall a victim under my own self criticism. I refuse to fall victim under my own fear. Today is the day I take charge and push myself as hard as I can. I cannot be the reason for my won down fall. I cannot pull myself down any longer because life is short. If I'm going to spend my time telling myself, "I can't," then what is the point in living?
(Will continue this post later, I gotta get ready to leave to go to class.)
